being with you means being alone

it's been a while since I updated this blog.. yesterday a friend told me he visited this blog and it reminded me that I still have a place to let stuff out without worrying too much what people think because they rarely find out about it :)

a small surprise after logging in- I have a follower.. thanks to my sweet shortie foxie - a shout out to you whenever you read this :)

Life hasn't been easy.. I guess that's something everyone can say.. but for me, it's been confusingly uneasy.. don't know if I went to hell or gone to heaven.. Sometimes I'm very happy and confident, sometimes I can get very depressed and just want to be gone. Extremely moody, I know.. It's not new.. What's new is I'm running from my struggles. Skip classes for work, then use friends and acquaintances to get away from work, and go on with an affair to get away from family. Sleep-deprived. Unfocused. Out of balance. Lack of exercise.

I have to say I came back home for so many reasons but none of them was to be emotionally challenged. I know I'm gonna get thru this alive.. just don't know how to keep my sanity. Hope i'll never get bored of FRIENDS.. it's like the best show ever.. to make me relax and take it easy.

Ephemeral - SM pt. 1

So he left to go back to the real world, while i sat there wait for my turn. We fell into another world in which there was only me and him, and we would sit there forever, just to wait for the Moon to go down and the Sun to rise up slowly behind those clouds. We enjoy seeing the nature's transformation between darkness and light right in front of our eyes with all its shades while we talk slowly about nothingness to watch the movement of our lips. We would be swallowing every drop of the breathing present and get lost among time and space as we find ourselves separated from the crowded human world, relaxed and comfortable enough to enjoy the freshness of the light, the wind, and the very morning in that ephemeral peaceful excitement.

It's time for me to go back to reality, which is not so bad either. I still get to see him, only from a different light.. Maybe not golden, but everyday, I take my time to know him a little bit more, appreciate our every interaction a little bit more, and fall a bit more in love. I have been falling in love with superman for a long time but it doesn't feel any older.. Whenever we're together, I still feel nervous and say stupid things too often and ruin the rare little moments we have...

happy heart

i can't be anymore broke than I am right now. I bought the g10 and just booked the tour to Thailand. I'm going with Mom at the end of March and I'm gonna be off work for a whole week.. (yay!). I'm also considering the Marketing class starting mid-March but I'm 60-40 right now because Mom is not very supportive of it. The class sounds interesting, but a ten-mil shot is much more than I could afford :D

Trying to keep in touch with friends so I just ordered some chocolate for them today.. In general, I'm doing good with my resolutions. Now i'm just gonna go and spend a wonderful Valentine for myself :D

Work has been tiring as usual. Many ups and downs, anything but boring. It's most rewarding now, when things fall into places... I need to improve myself though, definitely need to be more organized because I keep losing stuff. Not only did I lose my own ipod, I also lost one of the company's. And i need to keep my cool.. lately i'm getting more easy to freak out and panic..

Anyways, beside that, everything's perfect :P trying to stay positive.. and not yell at the people who make me happy.. :P

Lipstick Jungle on Star World starting this Tuesday, more yay!!!