Hello world,

Finally a new entry huh. It's been a while. I've logged in this blog like 100 times but never finished writing anything. I've become so impatient with myself that..

"god, I loathe myself"

So much has happened. I've become part-time and currenlty working at 2 jobs. The new job is very exciting with new ideas, new plans, and new promises, so much to learn, so much to do, but so is the old one. And the current biggest challenge is to manage my time right, be more efficient so something gets done in the middle of all my juggling.

I started playing tennis again. Although only 2 times a week, it really helps keep me physically active.. all the sweats was worth the money :D.. and of course noone can live without music, i'm taking guitar lessons. Cool huh? :) I'm so excited about this and determined to practice until I can play and sing many songs at the same time. I was thinking about taking dance classes again, but changed my mind and chose guitar instead. I think it's the right choice. Knowing how to play an instrument has always been a dream... Time to make it come true.

Love. Relationship. Headache as always. Never thought 3 messages a day is all it takes to keep a relationship going. Sounds pathetic right? Love is blind, and "pathetic" doesn't come close to define this relationship. Anyways, this is too public to talk about that relationship so I'll save that for another entry, when everything's over.

being with you means being alone

it's been a while since I updated this blog.. yesterday a friend told me he visited this blog and it reminded me that I still have a place to let stuff out without worrying too much what people think because they rarely find out about it :)

a small surprise after logging in- I have a follower.. thanks to my sweet shortie foxie - a shout out to you whenever you read this :)

Life hasn't been easy.. I guess that's something everyone can say.. but for me, it's been confusingly uneasy.. don't know if I went to hell or gone to heaven.. Sometimes I'm very happy and confident, sometimes I can get very depressed and just want to be gone. Extremely moody, I know.. It's not new.. What's new is I'm running from my struggles. Skip classes for work, then use friends and acquaintances to get away from work, and go on with an affair to get away from family. Sleep-deprived. Unfocused. Out of balance. Lack of exercise.

I have to say I came back home for so many reasons but none of them was to be emotionally challenged. I know I'm gonna get thru this alive.. just don't know how to keep my sanity. Hope i'll never get bored of FRIENDS.. it's like the best show ever.. to make me relax and take it easy.

Ephemeral - SM pt. 1

So he left to go back to the real world, while i sat there wait for my turn. We fell into another world in which there was only me and him, and we would sit there forever, just to wait for the Moon to go down and the Sun to rise up slowly behind those clouds. We enjoy seeing the nature's transformation between darkness and light right in front of our eyes with all its shades while we talk slowly about nothingness to watch the movement of our lips. We would be swallowing every drop of the breathing present and get lost among time and space as we find ourselves separated from the crowded human world, relaxed and comfortable enough to enjoy the freshness of the light, the wind, and the very morning in that ephemeral peaceful excitement.

It's time for me to go back to reality, which is not so bad either. I still get to see him, only from a different light.. Maybe not golden, but everyday, I take my time to know him a little bit more, appreciate our every interaction a little bit more, and fall a bit more in love. I have been falling in love with superman for a long time but it doesn't feel any older.. Whenever we're together, I still feel nervous and say stupid things too often and ruin the rare little moments we have...

happy heart

i can't be anymore broke than I am right now. I bought the g10 and just booked the tour to Thailand. I'm going with Mom at the end of March and I'm gonna be off work for a whole week.. (yay!). I'm also considering the Marketing class starting mid-March but I'm 60-40 right now because Mom is not very supportive of it. The class sounds interesting, but a ten-mil shot is much more than I could afford :D

Trying to keep in touch with friends so I just ordered some chocolate for them today.. In general, I'm doing good with my resolutions. Now i'm just gonna go and spend a wonderful Valentine for myself :D

Work has been tiring as usual. Many ups and downs, anything but boring. It's most rewarding now, when things fall into places... I need to improve myself though, definitely need to be more organized because I keep losing stuff. Not only did I lose my own ipod, I also lost one of the company's. And i need to keep my cool.. lately i'm getting more easy to freak out and panic..

Anyways, beside that, everything's perfect :P trying to stay positive.. and not yell at the people who make me happy.. :P

Lipstick Jungle on Star World starting this Tuesday, more yay!!!

Ox' wish list

1. And the list starts with this Canon G10 Powershot. It takes absolutely amazing portraits from outdoors. If I have learned any lesson from my Ox LL, it's all about capturing the moment :).

2. A pair of Capri Shoes for my new sporty look of 2009.


3. A simple clutch for all the neccesaries (phone, money, cards, & lip-balm) - only $15 at AE.com

Ky Suu is here...

So the holiday has officially begun. I could definitely use the next whole week to relax and reflect. Beside, i will start working on the content of my newsletter and the plan for my company's intranet. Sounds boring huh, but it needs to be done. Also prepare for myself as well as the activity plan for the 11 months left of 2009.

Watching America's Next Top Model right now. Borrowed these DVDs from e Nghia since last year and I'm nowhere in the middle of it. Ox also gave me a bunch of movies to live horizontally with, through the holiday. Tyra is really successful with this show. It has been copied to 120 countries, kinda like American Idol. Tedious at the beginning with so many models but it gets better after a while.

i found out an amazing thing today. My leq@uci.edu email still works :) how nice huh... i can use it i guess. I like it so much (short and simple) but thought it was disabled 3 months after graduation... Such small surprise makes me happy.. In the end, happiness is really about having the unexpected.. Is happiness about having the cherry, not the cake?

I've been questioning my career/life path lately (even though I'm so busy, it still comes up at the end of the day). I've found so much happiness in my work; however, at the same time, it's the unseen torture of the job that leaves me vulnerable. I have grown to realize how self-destructive I really am, and how I let blurred all the positive side of everything. When doing anything, the more I try, the more stressed and negative I've become no matter how good the result is. I don't seriously view myself as a failure all the time, but most of the time, I'm too critical to really enjoy... things to their fullest. With the new OX year upon me, I've updated my new-year resolutions to become more positive and realize life's biggest pleasures:
1. Eat slower
2. Be honorable. Know when to walk away. Know not to take less than I deserve.
3. Be careful when making promises with friends so I can keep them
4. Take a short-term course whatever it is that helps me go forward with my career (tentative: brand manager)
5. Shop less, save more
6. Take up on any sport or dancing again. Exercise often so i can stay strong and healthy.
7. Avoid making "the face" to my Ox LL & my family
8. Arrange entertainment items for parents, such as their 25th wedding anniversary party in December
9. Go to Thailand with Mom
10. Remember birthdays and send flowers /gifts / cards

Day 10

10 days since new year. Feels like forever as I'm so overloaded and stressed. I yelled at my big boss a couple times yesterday. He couldn't fire me though, because of the same reason I yelled at him - I'm so overloaded. If I'm not there, guess who's gonna be even more overloaded :D

Ok let's move on to good news. For the first time, I have accomplished one of my new year resolutions only 4 days after the new year started. On Jan 3, I went out and got food poisoning. Translation: diarrhea, vomit, fever, and not much food for 2 days. I eat slower. Goal accomplished.

I've been sick a lot for the past 1 month. I got a terrible cold, throat infection, allergy, and now food poison. My body is saturated with sickness. Emotionally, I'm just so sick of being sick.

Now, back to good news. La Senza has officially opened a store on Nguyen Trai. Me & Mom got robbed over there. If you didn't know my weakness for panties, take a look at my blog's name. I also received the Victoria's Secret stuff I ordered months ago. Feeling ecstatic right now =). By the way, these 2 brands belong to the same company, so they carry very similar stuff.

Charles & Keith is hot in HCMC right now. They just opened their 2nd store and I already bought 3 pairs since its opening. The matching bag is cute, however, was out of stock :P

you can make it last

for my first installment for year-end thinking.. someone told me that I'm ignorant to other people's love for me. If such a saying doesn't make you think, what does? I realized.. if 2 years ago, I had been loved like I'm right now, I could have really appreciated it. After getting back home since last year, love was not what I cared so much about anymore. It's expected, I figured. And I started having this urge to have other things... including of course, a job to determine myself and be financially independent. But then the focus seemed to over-occupy my life for the past 9 months I'd gone ignorant.. so this year, I'm making resolutions to live more and appreciate what I've got :)

new year resolutions
1. Eat slower
2. Be honorable. Know when to walk away. Know not to take less than I deserve.
3. Be careful when making promises with friends so I can keep them
4. Take a short-term course whatever it is that helps me go forward with my career
5. Shop less, save more
6. Take up on tennis/yoga again. Exercise often so i can stay strong and healthy.
...

that's all i can think for now

I’ll make the effort, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
Tomorrows just an excuse
And you can make it last, forever you

hello 2009